When you are in a relationship, it becomes important to be a part of the other person’s personality but altogether it is important to maintain your individuality. When you get involved in a relationship, it is very easy to get dominated by the other person’s personality. You like some of the traits of a person which makes you build a bond with him/her. A liking for virtues in the other person is fine to a certain extent but it should not start making you feel inferior. If at any point of time you feel that that the other person’s personality is making you find faults with yourself, I think you should quit. But mind it, do not take it literally. It is good to get impressed by somebody’s personality and virtues, this can lead you to make alterations in your own behavior so as to be more virtuous. But the thing is what does virtue mean? Is there any such thing called as virtue or vice? What use a virtue has if it suffocates you? Again, it should not be taken otherwise… I don’t mean that one should not be virtuous. What all I mean is that let your heart decide what is virtuous for your soul and what is ghastly. Let your heart decide what you are and what you are not. Do not let any body… and I mean anybody fog your entire personality. but do mind it that there should not be any dichotomy between what the heart says and what the mind thinks.... let them work in collaboration!
Remember, when you started off with the relationship it was your own personality that made the other person love you and get involved with you. If at certain point of time, the other person starts feeling that you are not compatible with him/her, it is not your fault. And you can not forcefully change your personality for that reason. The moment you start living according to someone else is the moment you start losing your space and losing your individuality. The concept might sound great to lose one’s individuality when in love, but when you have to do it in compulsion, believe me it becomes suffocating. It will become difficult to breathe and carry on with the relationship.
I might be wrong in all this but I have faced one such relationship and that is why just wanted to share it with everybody. I loved my friend a lot and thought she loves me the same. I don’t know what went wrong but gradually I started feeling no one in front of her and the relationship itself became suffocating for me and finally I had to quit! Now, I don’t even feel like talking to her but believe me I am much more happy and livelier than before. I feel I am good inside and that is what makes me happy. I try to improve but not for anybody but just for myself….
And hence, for me the moral of the story is LOVE YOURSELF and never ever hate yourself!!!!
God Bless
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